In-N-Out

I have a really bad weakness for In-N-Out.  If ever I'm invited to go, I go.  If Jared and I are out and about and it's time to eat, to In-N-Out we go.  Everytime we go I always get a cheeseburger with lettuce and extra tomato only, french fries, and a water with no ice.  Very particular I know, but I figure if I get the cheeseburger without the sauce that I have now made it a healthy burger.  I have my dairy, veggies, protein, and carbs all in one very delicious burger.  Now the french fries are a different story I realize... there really is no way to make these deep fried delicatessens healthy for me, but I don't dip them in ketchup so that's good right?  And I never get them animal style (although they have to be tried animal style at least once in your lifetime.)  I accept that they will never be good for me but I still can't help but order them everytime I go.  My meal just doesn't seem complete without them.  And finally I get my water without ice in it because my teeth are sensitive and it hurts to drink water when it's too cold.
So lately I've been feeling like I've been missing something in my life, and today I realized that something is In-N-Out.  It's been about a month since I had it last so of course I had to have it for lunch today and I have to say that it was very divine.  It was exactly the taste that I wanted to have in my mouth.  Do you know what I mean?  Sometimes I just want to have a particular taste in my mouth and when I get it right it makes me so happy!  So now I'm going to have to go running tonight to work off my very delicious lunch.  Was it worth it you ask?  Yes, yes it was.

I retract my previous opinion.. kind of

I've had this opinion about Twilight.  This opinion is that I think it's retarded.  People have become overly obsessed with the movies and books and turned into Twitards that would like nothing more than to have a vampire boyfriend... and these people have created things like Team Edward and Team Jacob (really?).  Now because of the aforementioned I have refused to have anything to do with Twilight.  Well... Twilight was on T.V. this past weekend and I finally decided to give it a chance.  I always kind of thought that once I saw it that I would like it... and I was right, I enjoyed the movie so much that I have plans to go buy the book. 

However....

I, Jessica Barney, do hereby solemly swear that I will never become a Twitard.
Signed, Jessica

Time

Time can be a funny thing.  Sometimes it goes by so quickly and other times it just seems to drag on.  I remember when I was in elementary school the weekends seemed so long.  Then as I got into highschool they went much too fast.  The school year used to take forever to finally end and summer left too soon.  I remember always wanting to be older than I was and it seemed like ages before I finally turned 16, the year I coveted because I could start dating and get my driver's license.  I thought it doesn't get much better than this right?  Then I...

• got a job
• graduated highschool
• moved to Utah
• met Jared
• married Jared...

and I can't help but keep wondering what has happened to the last 3.5 years of my life. I know I've had fun. I know I've accomplished a lot of things. But in comparison to the rest of my life, time has turned into this lightening round that I feel like I can barely keep up with. Before I know it it's the beginning of a new year again, it's already my birthday again, and I feel like 'didn't we just have Christmas?' by the time it's Christmastime again. I want to unwrap the mystery of time so that I can figure out how to slow it down a little bit. I want to feel like I can relish each moment before I move on to another. I want to feel like my evenings are long and relaxing, not short and hectic. I want to have time to do anything and everything I want... maybe I just need to quit my job, haha.

The visit

Yesterday I went to see my doctor and this is how it went.  He brought me into his office and we went over my operation report line by line and he explained everything that the doctors had done.  He showed me pictures as he was explaining and went very slowly so that I understood everything.  And when he was finished he asked me if I understood everything we went over.  Then he told me what it means.  He said that the uterus is made of what they call 2 horns.  Both of these horns have to communicate with the cervix in order for me to get pregnant and my left one is not.  Basically this means that I can't get pregnant.  I do still have my right ovary so he is going to order the hysterosalpingography (the dye test) and that will show how much uterus that I have to see if I can do in vitro fertilization.  Jared and I are hopeful that we will be good to go for IVF.  I'm just really anxious to find out.  Hopefully my insurance approves the test fast so this ball can get rolling!  Because I am ready to be a momma!  I just keep running into these dang road blocks.  Stupid road blocks!!!

Today is the day

Today is the day I go to the doctor.

Today is the day he will look at my old charts and tell me what he thinks.

Today is the day I hear the next step.

Back on the wagon

This year one of my new years resolutions is to run a half marathon.  I was training really well up until I hurt myself at the beginning of February.  I think I gave myself shin splints from trying to do too much too fast.  I tried to run it out but that just made it worse so I haven't been running at all for the past month and a half.  Every now and then I try to start up again but then I hurt again so I gave myself plenty of time to heal.  Well, tonight I'm getting back on the wagon and I'm going to start running again.  My half marathon is on June 5th so I still have all of April and May to train.  Hopefully it's enough time!  I'm so mad that I hurt myself because I was up to 6 or 7 miles and running a little faster 9:30 min/mile... :(  so I'm super bummed because I would have been totally prepared for this race.  I know I'll be able to finish the race no matter what, I'm not worried about that, I just really wanted to finish in less than 2 and a half hours.  Oh well... we'll see what happens.  Hopefully I can have a productive 2 months and kick some butt at the half.