Friday, March 30, 2012

Random thoughts

If heartburn could kill, I'd be dead by now

I wonder how much my tax refund is going to be...

Why haven't I gotten that paperwork back yet?

I can't wait to see my mom again

I wish I could go see Hunger Games

...The house really needs cleaned

My cat is hilarious

That glider needs to go on sale already!

Wyatt is going to have such a cute, I mean manly, nursery

Jared really needs to shave

Holy crap this kid can kick

I really need a haircut... I wish I knew someone that could just come over here
 
Wyatt looks like he's going to have daddy's big forehead... is it too early to tell that from an ultrasound? hahaha... probably
 
I wonder how big my little man is now.

My toenails really need to be painted

Tomorrow is seven weeks on bed rest
 
Can it just be June already???

Thursday, March 29, 2012

24 weeks!!!

We made it to 24 weeks!!!
Goal date #1 has been reached and if Wyatt was born now, his chances for survival would be 40-70%.
Next goal, 28 weeks.

How far along? 24 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: gained 10.5 lbs
Maternity clothes: Yes
Stretch marks: a few
Best moment this wk: I got Girl Scout Cookies
Miss anything: I miss outside
Movement: Lots :)
  Food cravings: Fruity Pebbles and Girl Scout Cookies
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope
Symptoms: The occasional Braxton Hicks, and I've been eating anything and everything I can get my hands on... it's kind of ridiculous.  I need to rid my house of all junk food!
Have you started to show yet:Yes
Gender: Boy
Labor signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy
Looking forward to: My mom flies in on Saturday!!!

Soooooo... this last week I had to miss a big family event. :(  
My BIL Frankie married his awesome fiance Kristy on Saturday.  I was soooo bummed that I wasn't able to go!!!  The things we sacrifice for our children... haha.  But I'm really excited for them.  They are perfect for each other and their families seem to mesh really well.
While Jared was gone the RS was awesome enough to arrange meals to be brought to me, so I constantly had people in and out of my house.  The only time I really had to feel lonely was when I had to sleep in my big bed all by myself.

My dr.'s appts this week were uneventful.  My Peri's office was "closed" but there was still someone there to give me my p17 shot.  So I didn't get an u/s, boo.  And my OB didn't do an u/s either, but we got to hear Wyatt's heartbeat and my belly was measured.  24 cm on the dot.  Since I'm 24 weeks I'm measuring exactly on track, yay!  I think I might be a little bit of an u/s brat.  I'm used to getting 1-2 every week to make sure Wyatt's okay and to check the amniotic fluid level.  Plus I love seeing my little beansprout, so it was weird to not be able to see him this week.  If my next pregnancy is a "normal" one, then it's going to be hard only getting 2-3 u/s for the entire pregnancy!  I've had at least 17 so far.

Anyway, here's what's going on with Wyatt this week
Your 10.5-to-11.8-inch fetus weighs about 12.7 to 20.8 ounces and every week he gets closer and closer to being ready to survive (and thrive!) in the outside world. 
  • His see-through skin is gradually becoming more opaque.
  • And he's got a new pink glow, thanks to the small capillaries that have recently formed.

Monday, March 19, 2012

23 Weeks


 I'm still pregnant!  And just ONE week until viability!!!
It's funny how the things you look forward to change so much once you've been put on bed rest. {Those who have had the "pleasure" of experiencing bed rest know what I'm talking about}

How far along? 23 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: gained 8.5 lbs
Maternity clothes: Yes
Stretch marks: a few tinies
Best moment this wk: The crib and dresser/changing table was delivered on Saturday!
Miss anything: I miss being able to do normal things
Movement: tons! :)
  Food cravings: otter pops :)
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope
Have you started to show yet:Yes
Gender: boy
Labor signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off: I have decided to remove my beloved wedding ring.  It was starting to get tight and I'm terrified of it getting stuck on my finger and having to get it cut off.  So my anniversary ring is now gracing my left ring finger.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy
Looking forward to: Hitting my first goal... making 24 weeks!
 
 I've got 5 weeks of bed rest down! 
This last week Bruce, my shark died, so Jared bought me 3 more Bruces to help cheer me up.  It worked.
Wednesday marked 1 month since we lost Michael.  I can't believe it's only been a month.
The nursery furniture arrived on Saturday.  I LOVE how it looks and when I told Wyatt it was here he started kicking.  I told him he couldn't have it for at least 13 weeks.
 
 
We're in the process of ordering the mattress, bedsheets, rug and rocking chair and I LOVE THEM ALL!!!  Pottery Barn Kids seriously has some of the most adorable things ever.

Today was spent on the phone with my insurance company.  My preauthorization to see Dr. R hadn't been approved yet and I had an appt. at 2:30.  Well, the ins. co.'s system was down all the way until 1:50.  That's when they told me that I actually needed to call a different number.  SERIOUSLY???  So I called my group on the way to my doctors appt.  I had to go whether I was going to get the appt. approved or not because I had to get my progesterone injection.  Insurance won't cover that for me so I just pay $25 every time I go so I can get it.  I figured if I couldn't have the ultrasound, I would at least get the injection.  By the time I made it over to my appt.  I learned that the guy that authorizes things was looking at my file but that he needed more info before he could approve anything and that it could take up to a few more days.  :(
At this point, I'm pretty stressed out.  I think I'd cried about 5x throughout the day from the stress of everything and I just wanted to lay down and go to sleep.
The nurse at the office told me that if I wanted to see the dr. in addition to my shot that I was going to have to be treated as a cash paying customer and the appt. was going to cost $330.  I may or may not have shed some more tears at this point.  She left to go ask the dr. something and didn't come back for like 10 min.  When she came back she told me that Dr. R said she would do a quick ultrasound and wouldn't charge me for it.  It was like the Heavens had opened.  Everything was going to be okay.
The office was very busy today so I wasn't seen until about an hour after I arrived.  By the time I was called back, Dr. R herself had called my insurance company, explained my situation and the importance of all my visits being covered and managed to not only get all the rest of my visits covered, but they are going to start covering the progesterone injections as well.  How cool is that?!  My dr. is freaking awesome.

So Wyatt is looking amazing.  His AFI is 17.2 and he weighs approximately 1 lb. 7 oz.  Grow baby grow!  He's doing so awesome!  My cervix measures 3.85 and the cerclage is holding great.  His HR was in the 140's, his brain is developing nicely, and.... he was totally picking his nose, haha.  Just kidding, his hand was up by his nose so Dr. R joked that he was picking it.
 
 
Our little man is so cute!!! <3
 
This is my basic plan for the remainder of the pregnancy.  Obviously, we're going to keep taking things week by week and continue with the progesterone injections and weekly checkups.  I will take my last progesterone injection at week 34.  Dr. R is still trying to decide exactly what to do, but as of now she is looking at 2 different options at this point.  
Option 1:  Because I am high risk and according to all things shouldn't even still be pregnant right now, her associates feel that I should have the cerclage removed and labor induced at 34 weeks.  
She's not quite so sure.  She feels that if everything is going okay, then why push it?  If baby wants to stay in, let baby stay in a little longer.  Babies born between 34-37 weeks often show delayed development and she would like to make it past that.  So she's considering
Option 2:  Removing the cerclage at 36 weeks and allowing my body to go into labor naturally.

At this point Jared and I are definitely favoring option 2.  We'd like Wyatt to be able to bake as long as possible to he can spend very little or no time in the NICU.  However, Dr. R wants to look at all options and said that she could be swayed to go with option 1 if there is a high risk at letting me go longer.  The placenta left from Michael is still in my uterus and they don't have a way of knowing if it's doing any damage in there.
Anyway, those are the options that she's considering at this point and only time will be able to tell us the direction we need to go.

When I got home from my appt. I had this waiting in the mail for me
I know, try not to be too jealous.

Okay so this was long.  I'll wrap up with what's going on with Wyatt this week. :)
He is the size of a pomegranate
  • He's forming little nipples (yeah, really!)
  • His face is fully formed now -- he just needs a little extra fat to fill it out.
  • He's listening to your voice and your heartbeat -- and even to loud sounds like cars honking and dogs barking.

Monday, March 12, 2012

22 Weeks

22 weeks today, 4 weeks of bedrest down, 2 weeks until viability :)


At my appt today, the amniotic fluid had an AFI of 12.4.  
CL {cervical length} is 3.9, yay!
Cerclage is holding perfectly.
Dr. R said she will measure Wyatt next week to see how he's growing.

Here he is! :)
and here's one of his little feet <3

How far along? 22 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: gained 6 lbs
Maternity clothes: Yes
Stretch marks: yes :( I found 3 tiny ones
Best moment this wk: Jared installed the baseboards in the nursery :)  Now the room is all ready for furniture!
Miss anything: baby Michael
Movement: My little boy has been kicking me several times a day for the past week
  Food cravings: otter pops :)
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope
Have you started to show yet:Yes
Gender: boy
Labor signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off: On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy
Looking forward to: The nursery furniture is going to arrive on Saturday!

This past week was pretty uneventful.  It was my first week without someone staying with me all day and it actually went really well.  The RS arranged for someone to bring me lunch every day and it was fun to visit with and get to know those ladies a little better.  My dad sent me a few packages to help make things easier slash pass the time. :)  A table {kind of like the tables in the hospital}, a reacher, and Spanish levels 1, 2, and 3 so that I can {re}learn Spanish.  I have my hobby for the next 3 months!  Thanks dad!
We started eating the frozen dinners that my mom made for us and they are YUMMY!  My mom is seriously the bomb.com for making all of those for us.  And it helps Jared out a lot.  Speaking of Jared... he's continued on his path of awesomeness.  Not only does he work his full time job, he makes all my meals, he makes sure I have whatever I need during the day, he does the laundry, washes the dishes and keeps the house clean, on top of helping me with whatever miscellaneous thing I need.  I'm pretty sure I married as close to perfect as you can get. :)

Okay, I'll stop bragging about my awesome husband now...  Here's what's going on with Wyatt this week.

Baby is as big as a papaya
Watch what you say -- baby is now able to hear outside noise from down in the womb. Studies show that baby finds gentle music and your own voice most soothing. Nipples are starting to sprout, and that little face is fully formed. And, baby's starting to settle into sleep cycles, snoozing about 12 to 14 hours a day. It shouldn't be hard to figure out when -- just pay attention to those kicks as they start and stop.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Baby kicks

It's official.
I can feel my baby boy's tiny little kicks. :)
I started feeling the little taps on Monday night, but I didn't want to get too overly excited in case it was just bubbles.  But this is definitely different than anything I have felt before.

As the week has gone by the kicks have gradually gotten a little stronger.  In fact, when Jared walked in the door tonight he called out for me and Wyatt kicked in response.  I don't know if it was just convenient timing or if he can already recognize his daddys voice.  I told Jared that I thought maybe Wyatt recognized him and so he came over and put his hand on my tummy to which Wyatt promptly kicked back at, hard.  Well, hard for a 21.5 week old fetus, lol.

I'm soooo so so glad to finally be able to feel my baby boy.  Every time I feel him, it reassures me that he's still in there growing strong.  And every time I feel him, it's a reminder as to why I am doing this.  Bed rest is so worth it if it can get this baby safely here!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Reflections

Today officially marks five months complete of me being pregnant.
I've been feeling very humbled lately by this past months events.  I've also reflected a lot on my entire pregnancy journey... 

my whole life all I've wanted was to be a mom.  I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I even had it all planned out when I was a teenager and recorded said plans in my journal.
I was going to be married by the time I was 21. {check} I was going to marry a doctor {negetive} and he was going to have brown hair and brown eyes {My hubby has blond hair and blue/green eyes}.  We were going to first have a daughter and we would name her Summer Lily, then twin boys, and they would be called Michael Andrew and Bryan Isaac.  THEN we were going to adopt a little Russian girl and give her the name of Katya.  According to my 'plans' this was all going to happen by the time I was 25.
Well... year 25 came around for me and I wasn't even close to being pregnant.  Shortly before I turned 25 is when I learned I would only become pregnant through IVF.
The next year was spent mentally and physically preparing myself for it.

Because of some family things, I changed jobs and started working for the business my in-laws own.  I lost some weight.  We financially prepared ourselves the best we could, and I spent a lot of much needed time with my husband.  I took more time off that year than I had in probably the last 3 years combined and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Looking back on the IVF process, it really wasn't that bad.  But maybe I'm just having some convenient memory loss.  I had to take more of the injections than the avg. person because my body wasn't cooperating at first, but then my tests started showing good numbers.  I'll never forget the 3 most important dates of my IVF journey.

Oct 24th was the egg retrieval.  The doctor was able to get 13 eggs from my one ovary.
Oct 27th was embryo transfer day.  I was told that I had 8 viable embryos.  8!  The dr. transferred 2 of them to my body and then I had to play the waiting game for almost 2 weeks.
Finally on Nov. 8th, my 26th birthday, I went it for a pregnancy test and it was confirmed that I was pregnant.  It was definitely the best birthday to date.

November 23rd was my first ultrasound and the day that we received news that we were going to be having twins.  I don't know if there is a person in the world that was more overjoyed than Jared and I at that moment.

Everything about my pregnancy was great from that point on.  I 'graduated' early from HRC, and every test and ultrasound I had came back with great results.

When my water broke on Feb 11th I felt like my world had been turned upside down.  There was no rhyme or reason for it.  No explanation.  Losing our son 3 days later was probably the hardest thing that I've had to endure in this life.  I honestly couldn't have done it without Jared, my family, and my religion.  I'm a Mormon, and my religion teaches, and I believe, that a family is forever.  I know that Jared and I will be able to raise Michael in this next life.  It makes me sad that I won't be able to hold him in my arms or see him grow into a young man... but I know he is in a better place.  Heavenly Father is taking care of our little boy right now, and I believe they are both watching over and protecting Wyatt.

I'm told that tragedies like this can either strengthen or destroy relationships.  I'm happy to say that Jared and I have never been closer.

I'm humbled by the knowledge that Wyatt is beating the odds.  I'm grateful to have a dr. that has experience in high risk pregnancies.  And I'm both grateful and humbled by the support that I have received from family, friends, and complete strangers.

I have had more people reach out to me and offer support than I could ever fathom.  Their kind messages and words of support help me more than words can say.  So thank you.  Thank you for supporting me, a family member, friend and stranger, in my time of need.

The road ahead is still long and it's hard to see the end, but I know it's there.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

21 weeks

3 weeks of bedrest down... 19 to go.
Baby Wyatt sucking his thumb <3

How far along? 21 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: gained 5 lbs
Maternity clothes: Yes
Stretch marks: Nope
Best moment this wk: the funeral home was finally able to finish up all the legal stuff in order to cremate Michael.  We got to bring him home on Saturday.
Miss anything: baby Michael
Movement: I found out I have an anterior placenta which explains why I haven't really felt Wyatt move.  Hopefully I'll get to start feeling him in a few weeks.
  Food cravings: otter pops :)
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope
Have you started to show yet: YES
Gender: boy
Labor signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off: On
Happy or Moody most of the time: I'm happy most of the time, but I def have my moments
Looking forward to: Being able to really feel Wyatt move, and for Jared to feel him too

At my appt. today, Wyatt is still doing great :)  His amniotic fluid level is right on target and my cervix still looks good.  Dr. R was surprised that I couldn't really feel him kicking yet because he was kicking pretty hard.  Boooo anterior placenta!  I want to feel his little feet already!  Dr. R didn't measure Wyatt today since she measured him last week.  She said that she only wants to measure him once a month because we would just drive ourselves crazy measuring him every week.  She said it's like weighing yourself everyday.

Last week my SIL Wendy came down from Gilroy to help me out. :)  She was super awesome and made me food when I needed it and cleaned my house and did the laundry and took me to my dr.'s appointments.  When Dr. R found out that Wendy is from Gilroy, the "garlic capital" she told us that when she was younger she went there with a few of her friends.  They wanted to bring something back for their boyfriends, so they pulled over to the side of the road and picked up a clove of garlic to bring back.  All of the sudden they were surrounded by police cars and were almost arrested.  Apparently it's a federal offense to take anything off of a farm.  She said that technically, the garlic was on the side of the road, it was not in the field so she wasn't trying to steal anything.  The police let them go and she hasn't tried anything as daring ever since, lol.  I love that dr. :)
Anyway, it was really good to have Wendy out here for a week.  She and I haven't really had the opportunity to get to know eachother since I've been in the family so it was a lot of fun to visit with her and get to know her.

Here's what's going on with Wyatt this week
Baby gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for hydration and nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies are most interested in tastes they've already experienced through amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you want your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch.