Thursday, September 1, 2011

Day Three

Today is day three!  Today Jared and I went into Huntington Reproductive Center (HRC) for me to have a couple of tests done.  An Estrogen test and a follicle stimulating hormone test (FSH).  I'm learning lots of abbreviations, haha.  They'll call me with the results later today and as long as everything looks right I'll start taking birth control.  Yikes!  Dun dun DUN!!!  Hopefully I don't turn into a psycho mess.  When I took b.c. before it was a low dosage and I didn't react too badly, but this is the normal dose stuff.  Pros - usually helps clear up my face.  Cons - I become an emotional basket case and my husband turns into a jerk.  Next Wednesday I'll go in for my Sonohysterogram and as soon as we get the result back from the genetic testing we'll be ready to move to the next step.  Yeah, that's right.  I said genetic testing.  I totally didn't want to do it but Jared has convinced me otherwise.  My position is, if we're supposed to have a baby that has down syndrome or a cleft lip or is retarded, then we'll have one whether we try and prevent it or not.  But Jared says that since we're going through this whole process to try and have a baby we might as well try to have a healthy baby.  So I agreed to the testing.  HOWEVER, there is no part of me that will ever agree to destroying any of the embryos whatsoever.  HRC was saying that any embryos that we don't want, they will destroy, so I asked about adopting them out.  I know that there are women out there that want the whole experience of having a baby, but don't have any eggs to have one.  Rather than destroying my unused eggs, I would want to give them to someone else.  I know it sounds so weird... the eggs would already be fertilized, which means that someone else would have a little Jared or Jessica running around in their life and we wouldn't even know them.  But I would so much rather have that, then have to live with the knowledge that I allowed all these future babies to be destroyed.
Anyway, we talked about all that stuff and then we met with the financial counselor to see about prices for everything.  Man oh man is in vitro expensive! haha This kid had better be perfectly mannered! haha j/k
We're thinking that we are going to do two round of in vitro.  If it doesn't work, then we'll regroup and figure out our next steps, but for now, this is where we're at.  Once we get the test results back from the genetic test we'll sit back down with Dr. Wilcox's nurse and figure out a schedule for the rest of this process.  Obviously, I'm nervous about this whole thing and earlier this week was really freaking out about what if it doesn't work and so on, but Jared is just being so cute.  He soooo wants to be a dad. :)  He'll make such a good daddy!

So here's our doctor
  click here for some info on him
He's super nice and we really like him :)

Oh yeah, and side note, I found a yoga class!  It's not fertility yoga (because the closest class was like 45 min. away and I figured that after dealing with the traffic and stupid drivers on the way home I wouldn't be relaxed anymore and it would have been pointless) but I absolutely loved it.  I bought a month of unlimited yoga (new student special) and after a month I figure that I'll know how many times I want to go each week.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Day One

So... probably a little too much info. but I started my period today.... which means it's the day to call and schedule an appt. with HRC to go in for testing on day three.  I don't know what my problem is but I am absolutely freaking out about this whole thing.  I know that stress can make it so you don't get pregnant or can contribute to a miscarriage so i am looking into taking a fertility yoga class.
Yoga is supposed to be really good to do while pregnant or trying to conceive because it teaches you how to breathe and be calm.  Here's an article I read about it


So now I just have to find a class for this.  Maybe HRC knows of a class that they can refer me too.  I think it's so cool that there are fertility yoga classes though.  Everyone that goes there is either pregnant or trying to get pregnant and it will be nice to start meeting other people that I can relate to. :)
So the phone call has been made.  
Let's do this.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Ready... Set... Go?

Today I finally went to a lab where they drew like 7 vials of my blood to do all these pre-IVF tests.  Then I called Dr. Wilcox (IVF Doctor) to see what I need to do to get this ball rolling.  I'm not putting it off any longer!  I want to be a mom and Jared wants to be a dad.  Like a year ago when I found out that IVF was for sure the only way I could possibly get preggers, I had this idea that I would get all fit and to my perfect weight and eat all healthy... but I'm not sure that will ever happen.  I like french fries and ice cream too much! haha and Jared hates working out and I don't like working out by myself.  (I need a workout buddy!)
In the past year I have lost ten pounds and then gained it all back and then lost five of it and then gained it back and so on and so forth and now I've maintained my current weight for like... ohhhhh the past 3 months, haha, so I'm giving up on having the perfect body before kids because if I wait, at the rate I'm going, I'll be too old or probably dead before I'll be where I want, oh sad, haha
So I'm plunging forward, stomach in knots, without looking around because if I do I'll freak myself out about something else.
It's weird to have to plan out having kids like this instead of just getting a little surprise... I hope all those awesome moms out there who got their little blessings, let's say the easy way, lol (even though I know having kids isn't easy) realize how lucky they are :)
And I am soooooo happy for all my friends who have been blessed with children... but I might be a teeny bit jealous of them too. :)  
Love you guys!


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Poor me...

Today I've been having a poor me day.  I saw a skinny girl and felt sorry for myself that I don't look as good as she does.  I recently found out that one of my friends husbands totally goes to the gym and works out with her all the time.  Poor me because my husband doesn't do that with me.  And I could go on and list more things of how I feel poor me but it's pretty obvious by the two examples so far that I am mostly feeling down on myself because of my weight and how I'm not a cute little wife.  And as I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself it dawned on me how ungrateful and selfish I am being.  
AND lazy.

If I want to be in good shape I need to just do it.  It's not hard, it just takes work and self control.  And I have an AMAZING husband.  I think that him not working out with me is like one of the one things that I have to complain about which means I have it pretty stinkin' good.

My goal for myself the rest of this week is to find the positive and good in everything that I come across... and no complaining.  I'll just have to bite my cheek or something because I've noticed that I complain about a lot of things lately and I don't like it.  Plus I probably annoy everyone that's around me, haha.  Sorry guys!  This girl is currently under renovation and a new model will be released in the sometime near future.
I have a lot to be grateful for and I need to start acting like it!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Enough to spare

Enough to Spare is a charity that my sister Kristin's professor founded.  100% of the donations go to the children that need to be sponsored and it only costs $21 a month.  My sister has been sponsoring a child for a year and a half and I just started to sponsor one as well.  The majority of these children have lost their fathers to the war that is going on right now and have to live in camps so that they can be protected from the rebels.  $21 a month is not a lot of money and it could significantly change a child's life.  You can make a one time donation or you can sponsor a child ($21/month).  Anything will help! :)