Oh baby

So I went and saw an OBGYN on Wednesday!  It was just an initial consultation so nothing is really in the works to happen yet.  The doctor wants to look at my operation records from the surgery I had my sophomore year but he is thinking that the first step will be a hysterosalpingogram.  

This is how Web MD explains this test:

 During a hysterosalpingogram, a dye (contrast material) is put through a thin tube that is put through the vagina and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes. Pictures are taken using a steady beam of X-ray (fluoroscopy) as the dye passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes. The pictures can show problems such as an injury or abnormal structure of the uterus or fallopian tubes, or a blockage that would prevent an egg moving through a fallopian tube to the uterus. A blockage also could prevent sperm from moving into a fallopian tube and joining (fertilizing) an egg. A hysterosalpingogram also may find problems on the inside of the uterus that prevent a fertilized egg from attaching (implanting) to the uterine wall. 

So hopefully they can get those records quick so I can get this process going!  I'm nervous because I heard that this test is kind of painful, but if it can help to figure out what's wrong with me then BRING IT ON!!!!  
I've heard about people becoming bitter and resentful of pregnant women if they are having a hard time getting pregnant and I decided a long time ago that I was not going to be one of them.  It's not their fault that I can't get pregnant and for all I know, they might have had a hard time too.   I mean, I love love love pregnant women!  They are just so CuTe and hApPy... it's almost like they're glowing... but it was actually kind of hard to be in a room where everyone was pregnant but me.  It's funny how you don't REALLY know how you are going to react to a situation until you are plopped right into it.  I was sitting there filling out all of my paperwork and in one section I had to list my number of children, number of pregnancies, number of miscarriages and number of abortions.  As I was filling in the zeros the words just echoed around in my head... zero children... zero pregnancies... why is it that these girls that don't want babies seem to get pregnant so easily and those who do want them seem to have the hardest time ever.  It just isn't fair, juvenile as that may sound.  I felt kind of silly because the whole situation really overwhelmed me and I almost started crying.  I really don't think I realized just how much I want to be a mom.  It's kind of ridiculous.  But I guess this whole process will make me really appreciate my babies when I finally get to have them right?  Anywho!  I didn't mean to get all serious there sorry!  At least the first step has been taken and I'm hoping to turn these next steps into leaps and bounds.  :)