Four Years! (as of yesterday)

Four years 9 months and 20 days ago I met this really awesome guy.

Four years 5 months and 10 days ago we got

engaged.

Four years ago we went to the temple and were sealed for all time and eternity.

Four years!  We're almost halfway to ten!

I love my little family :)

The search is ON! :)

The visit w/ my doctor yesterday went well minus the fact that I sat in the room for an hour before he saw me. (Am I the only one that thinks this is ridiculous?)  He basically just re-iterated everything that Jared told me last week but in a little different way.  He said I have a normal size uterus, that I am missing my left ovary and fallopian tube and that the right tube is dilated and blocked.  When I asked if the blockage could be cleared out he said that because I have so many adhesions inside me that it would not be worthwhile to try and clear out the blockage and that I should avoid any surgeries in the future.  Yikes!  Apparently it would not be worth the risk.  I read the report to my dad and told him about the doctors advice and he agrees with him so I feel comfortable with not getting a second opinion. 
So now to find a good IVF doctor!  A friend of the family has a sister who had IVF done successfully and she gave me the info to the doctor.  His name is Dr. Marrs.  From what I've found online he's a very good doctor that EVERYONE seems to like.  He has good reviews across the board and has been doing this for (I think it said) 32 years.  Plus I called to see how far out the appts. were and right now they are scheduling in Sept.  Sooo... this also leads me to believe that he is a much sought after doctor.  I printed up a new patient packet to fill out and fax in and man oh man!  They ask about everything!  This thing is going to take a while to do!  But I've got to finish it and get it to them quick b/c they schedule the appt.'s after they review the packet and they review those in the order that they get them.  So the sooner the better for me! 
I'm just really excited to be on a different part of this adventure.  I'm going to check out a few different places before I decide who I want to go to for sure but so far I really like what I've read and heard about from this one place.  So we'll see!

Patience

I was just reading this talk about Patience by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf from the April 2010 Conference.  This talk is so wonderful!  I remember that as President Uchtdorf gave this talk I felt as if he was talking directly to me (minus the priesthood part). 
This parts of the talk really stood out to me:

"Patience means staying with something until the end. It means delaying immediate gratification for future blessings. It means reining in anger and holding back the unkind word. It means resisting evil, even when it appears to be making others rich.
Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith. It means being “willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.” Ultimately, patience means being “firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord” every hour of every day, even when it is hard to do so. In the words of John the Revelator, “Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and … faith [in] Jesus.”
Patience is a process of perfection. The Savior Himself said that in your patience you possess your souls. Or, to use another translation of the Greek text, in your patience you win mastery of your souls. Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most. This was true in the time of the Savior. It is true in our time as well, for we are commanded in these latter days to “continue in patience until ye are perfected.”
To paraphrase the Psalmist of old, if we wait patiently for the Lord, He will incline unto us. He will hear our cries. He will bring us out of a horrible pit and set our feet upon a solid rock. He will put a new song in our mouths, and we will praise our God. Many around us will see it, and they will trust in the Lord."

I love President Uchtdorf!  He just really gets me and I love it.  I know that the Lord knows best and that He has a divine plan for everyone, but sometimes it's hard for me to have the patience that is required.  This talk has helped me to remember how important it is to have patience and so patience I will have!

The results are in

Well yesterday was the big day!  I went to the hospital for a couple of tests to find out what's going on with my baby making situation.  I had a hysteroscopy done (where they put a camara into my uterus and take pictures) and last minute they decided to add a hysterosalpingogram (dye is put through the falopian tubes to see if there is any damage/blockage).  Thanks to lots of prayers and good doctoring this procedure was able to be completed.  Thank you everyone who has supported Jared and I!  We are so appreciative to every one of you! :) 
So this is how the day went:
Jared and I went to the hospital @ 9 am to check in.  The lady at the desk looked at me weird and accused me of showing up too early.  So I told her I could always leave and come back later if she wanted me to.  (Apparently my procedure was moved from 11 to 1 and whoever was supposed to inform me of this change did not.)  She told me that since I was here and I was safe that I should stay.  So they put me in a room... where I waited... and waited... haha Jared layed on the bed with me and we fell asleep for a couple of hours.  It was actually kind of nice.  We watched a little t.v. too and I'm pretty sure that it could be considered cruel and unusual punishment because like every other commercial somehow involved food which I wasn't allowed to have.  Around 11 my nurse came into my room and told me that she needed to put an IV in me.  Well my left arm has crappy veins and I tried to tell her so but she must have really wanted to poke me because she tried twice on my wrist.  After her two failed attempts and telling me that I have thick skin she gave up and said that she would let operation handle it.  At 1:00 transport came to my room and took me down to the first floor for surgery.  It was so cold!!  I think they kept it 40 degrees down there.  They were running behind down there so the nurse put an IV in (my right hand) and around 2:15 I got to meet the anesthesiologist.  They put a mask over my face w/ oxygen and told me that my hand w/ the IV was going to hurt for just a minute.  As soon as the nurse told me that the anesthesia was coming through the mask my hand started hurting worse than I've ever felt before and that's the last thing I remember before I woke up in recovery.  Apparently I like to talk a lot because I told the nurses about how "I was hit by a car when I was 4 and that I must be here for a reason because I was suppossed to die and I didn't" and so on and so forth.  I was pretty embarrased when I was coherent again and realized that I had been so chatty.  I spent about an hour in recovery before they took me back to my room where I was monitered for an hour and a half before they let me leave.
The doctor talked with Jared after the procedure and told him that it went very well.  He said that my uterus looks great but that the fallopian tube has a lot of damage/scarring and blockage.  Because of this I won't ever be able to have children the 'old fashioned way' but I am a good candidate for in vitro fertilization.  I have my follow up appt on Tuesday where I'm sure my doctor will give me some info. about it.  And then Jared and I will be on the search for a good doctor. :)  And maybe, just maybe I'll be pregnant before the year is out.  How cool would that be?!

Big sisters

In my experience, big sisters are always so very protective of their little siblings.  Especially our little sisters.  Us big sisters, we know everything.  We've already been down that road that you think you want to go down... we dated a guy just like the one that you think you know you're in love with and why can't you see that he's so bad for you?  OR we would NEVER date a guy like that and what are you thinking?! 
I've always been a little overboard protective of my sister just younger than me.  I'm not quite sure why, I just always have been.  Maybe it's because when we were little we shared a room so we spent a lot of time together.  Maybe it's because she always wanted to be like me.  I'm not quite sure what the reason is, but whatever the reason I just can't seem to help myself.  My sister and I have had some especially tough times together.  Luckily we've been able to get past those rough spots and are now the best of friends. 
I have a dear friend who is now going through kind of the same situations but different.  I've been thinking about her a lot and I really feel for her.  It's so hard to see our little sisters doing things that you know aren't things that they really want to do... trying to be something that they are not, and you can see that they hate themselves for it.  I love you my friend and I know that your sister will make it.  Especially since she has awesome you as an example to live up to. :)